Vol. 37 - What 175 Women Asked For When 65 Senior Male Leaders Finally Stood Beside Them
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Last Friday, 175 women woke up before 7am and walked along the waterfront at Collyer Quay, Singapore. Beside each of them was a senior male executive - a C-suite leader, a venture capital partner, or a founder - who had read their profile the night before and showed up already thinking about how to help. No networking small talk. Just a direct, matched conversation with someone who had the standing to open a door and had agreed to try.
This was the third edition of Walk the Talk. And what we learned this year confirmed something we have believed for a long time but now have the data to say out loud: the bottleneck was never the women. It was always access.
This newsletter is what we took away from that morning - the data, the pattern, and everything we know about how to close the gap between where you are and the room you are trying to get into.
What 175 women asked for - and what it tells us
Before the event, every participant submitted her ask. Not a vague "I'm open to opportunities." A specific, stated request that we used to match her with the right leader.
Here is what the data showed:
- 104 women needed an introduction - not advice on networking, but an actual introduction to a specific person, company, or network they could not reach on their own.
- 93 needed a door opened: a recommendation for a role, a project, a board seat, or a speaking opportunity.
- 66 needed someone to share their honest, firsthand experience of a path they were seriously considering - not inspiration, but candour from someone who had been there.
- 32 needed a reference, someone willing to put their name behind theirs in a process already in motion.
- 27 needed help re-entering the workforce after a break or transition.
These were not women at the beginning of their careers. 90 of them had between 13 and 20 years of professional experience. 42 had more than 20. They came from IT, banking, consulting, marketing, healthcare, and more than a dozen other industries. They were senior. They were capable. They were specific about what they needed. What they were missing - what most senior women are missing - is not skills. It is sponsorship.
The difference between mentorship and sponsorship - and why it costs you to confuse them
Let us be direct about this, because the conflation of these two things is one of the most expensive mistakes in professional life.
A mentor speaks to you. A sponsor speaks about you - in a room you are not in yet.
Mentorship is advice. It builds your confidence, sharpens your thinking, and helps you work through challenges you have not faced before. That is real value. But a mentor does not promote you. A mentor does not put your name in front of the hiring committee. A mentor does not call the CFO she had dinner with last week and say "you need to meet this woman before you fill that role." Mentors give you perspective. Sponsors give you access. And in a job market that is increasingly relationship-driven, access is what moves careers.
The research on this is hard to ignore. Women with sponsors are 20% more likely to be promoted than those without. Employees with sponsors have been promoted at nearly twice the rate of unsponsored peers. McKinsey's 2025 Women in the Workplace report found that 46% of men at senior levels have a sponsor, compared to 31% of women. Women are 54% less likely than men to have a sponsor at all. A 2025 survey found that 73% of women who were sponsored say it significantly accelerated their careers - yet 41% of unsponsored women cited lack of access to senior leaders, and 36% said they simply did not know how sponsorship was supposed to happen.
The gap is not always structural. Sometimes it is the absence of a roadmap. That is what the rest of this newsletter is.
One more distinction worth making. Think of what a sponsor actually does in four moves:
- they amplify your achievements to decision-makers, boost you by recommending you for high-visibility projects, connect you to influential leaders and opportunities, and defend you when bias or unfair evaluation enters the room.
- If the person you are thinking of as your sponsor is not doing at least two of those four things, you have a mentor.
Why working harder is not the answer
Here is the pattern we see most often. A woman delivers consistently excellent work. She gets strong performance reviews. She does more than is asked of her. And she waits. She assumes that the quality of her output will eventually be noticed by someone with the power to move her forward. Sometimes it works. More often, it does not - because promotions do not go to the most qualified candidate. They go to the candidate whose name is already in the room before the decision is made.
Men tend to understand this earlier. They seek out sponsors, build political capital, and invest in relationships up and across the organisation. Women, particularly high-performing women, often have the opposite conditioning: keep your head down, do the work, let the results speak for themselves. That conditioning is not weakness. It is what most of us were taught. But in the context of a senior career, it is a ceiling.
The other side of this is what researchers call the readiness trap. Studies show that women tend to wait until they meet 100% of the criteria for a role before putting themselves forward, while men typically apply at around 60%. Sponsors close that gap - not just by creating opportunities but by actively countering the hesitation. By saying "you are ready for this" in a room where you cannot say it for yourself.
The work you do is the foundation. Sponsorship is the accelerant. One without the other leaves something on the table.
How to build a sponsorship relationship - the actual process
Most guidance on sponsorship is too vague to act on. "Build relationships with senior leaders." "Make yourself visible." That is the equivalent of telling someone to "network more." Here is what the process actually looks like.
Get specific about your ask before you approach anyone.
A sponsor cannot open a door if they do not know which door you are standing in front of. Before you begin any relationship-building with this purpose in mind, be able to say - in two sentences - exactly what you need. Not "I'm looking to grow my career" but "I'm moving from a regional Finance Director role into a Group CFO position and I need an introduction to a board member in a mid-size listed company who can speak honestly about what that transition requires." The more specific the ask, the easier it is to act on. The easier it is to match you with the right person. If you cannot say it in two sentences, you are not ready to make it yet.
Map who has standing in the rooms that matter to you.
Your sponsor does not have to be your direct manager. In fact, your direct manager may not be the right person at all. Look at who has visibility, credibility, and relationships in the direction you are heading. That might be a skip-level leader, someone in a different function whose work intersects with yours, a board member you have had some exposure to, a former manager who has moved into a relevant sector, or a senior leader you met at an event. The question is not "who do I know?" but "who has standing in the room I am trying to get into, and who has seen enough of my work to vouch for me?"
Build the relationship before the ask.
Do not approach someone cold with a sponsorship request. Find ways to work with or near the person before you need anything from them. Volunteer for high-visibility projects where they have oversight. Bring them a useful insight, a relevant connection, or a piece of work that shows how you think. Be excellent in a context where they can see it. The window between "I have noticed this person" and "I am willing to put my name behind this person" takes time to cross. Start earlier than you think you need to.
Make the ask specific and take the friction away.
When the relationship is warm enough, ask directly - but give your sponsor everything they need to say yes without effort. Prepare a one-paragraph summary of who you are, what you are looking for, and why this specific person is the right one to help. Draft the introduction email they can forward with their name on it. Give them the exact language so they do not have to spend time working out how to position you. Sponsors are busy. The less work it takes for them to help you, the more likely they are to do it. You are making a bet on their goodwill - make it the easiest bet they place that week.
Follow through fast, then close the loop.
When your sponsor acts, move on your end within 24 hours. Follow up on the introduction within 48. Do not let the opening close because you were not ready. Then come back and tell them what happened. "You introduced me to [name] last month - we met, and she has connected me to the team at [company] for an exploratory conversation." A sponsor who sees that their effort produced a result will advocate for you again. One who never hears back will not. This is where most people lose momentum - not in getting the sponsorship, but in nurturing it after.
The sponsorship questions women actually ask - answered honestly
What if my potential sponsor is outside my company or even outside my region?
External sponsors are often more powerful than internal ones, because they have no organisational politics to navigate when they advocate for you. They can recommend you to people in their network without worrying about how it looks internally. The relationship-building process is the same, but the timeline is longer - you may need six to twelve months of genuine, consistent contact before an external sponsor will put their name behind yours. Show up at the same events. Engage with their work in ways that are specific and substantive, not generic. When the relationship is warm, be precise about what you need and why them in particular. External sponsorship also travels with you - across roles and organisations - in a way that purely internal sponsorship does not.
What if the person who could sponsor me is my boss's boss, and my direct manager feels threatened?
This is one of the most delicate situations in corporate life and one of the most common. The principle is: make your manager part of the success, not a bystander to it. When you build a relationship with a skip-level leader, keep your direct manager informed - not in a way that asks permission, but in a way that includes them. "I had a great conversation with [name] about the project - I mentioned that your framing of the strategy piece was what made it land with the wider team." You are not hiding the relationship. You are not asking permission to have it. You are managing it in a way that does not create a threat. If your manager consistently and deliberately blocks your access to senior leaders despite this, that is information. It tells you something about the ceiling in that environment - and it is worth being clear-eyed about what that means for your next move.
What if I ask and they say yes - and then do nothing?
Give it two weeks. Then follow up once, specifically and without drama: "Wanted to check in on the introduction you mentioned to [name] - I'm keen to move forward when the timing works for you. Happy to send a short note you can forward if that makes it easier." If there is still no movement after that, redirect your energy. Some people are willing in intention but not in execution. They are just not the right sponsor for you right now. Note it, stay warm, and invest your energy elsewhere.
What if my ask is too big - or too small?
Most women err on the side of too small. They ask for advice or a coffee chat when what they actually need is an introduction or a direct recommendation. That underselling comes from the same conditioning that keeps women waiting for 100% of the criteria before applying for a role. Calibrate like this: what is the single action that, if one senior person took it, would change your trajectory in the next 12 months? That is your ask. It should feel slightly uncomfortable to say out loud. If it feels completely comfortable, you may be underselling yourself.
What if I don't feel senior enough to deserve a sponsor?
You do not become deserving of sponsorship by working harder or waiting longer. You become sponsored by being specific, being visible, and being in rooms where that kind of relationship can form. No one self-selects into sponsorship by being quietly excellent behind closed doors. The women who walked away from Walk the Talk with a concrete outcome were not the most senior or the most accomplished in the group. They were the ones who came in with the sharpest ask.
How do I know when the relationship has actually become sponsorship, rather than mentorship?
A sponsor uses their social capital for you without being in the same room. The clearest signal is when someone starts creating opportunities for you without being asked - because they thought of you first. When your name comes up in a meeting you were not in. When you hear second-hand that someone spoke well of you to the right person. When an opportunity arrives in your inbox that you did not apply for. That is sponsorship.
Should I have one sponsor or several?
Several. Different sponsors have standing in different rooms. Your internal sponsor may have no connection to the venture community. Your industry sponsor may not understand the internal dynamics of your organisation. A former manager who has moved into a new sector can open doors there that your current network cannot. Build two to three relationships over time, each relevant to a different dimension of where you are going. Think of it as a portfolio, not a single bet.
Does the sponsor benefit too - or is it purely charity on their part?
Research found that senior leaders who actively sponsor others are more likely to be promoted themselves within two years. Sponsorship signals leadership maturity, broadens a sponsor's network, and gives them visibility into talent pipelines that would otherwise stay invisible to them. When you approach a potential sponsor, you are not asking for charity. You are offering them a return: access to your work, your network, your thinking, and the credibility that comes from having backed someone who delivered. That reframe is worth holding onto - particularly for the women who feel they do not deserve to ask.
A note for the women who were not at Collyer Quay on Friday
You did not miss a networking event. What happened on Friday was something more specific than that. 175 women practised the most underused career skill of our generation. They asked. Out loud. To someone with the power to help. Not for advice. Not for a coffee chat. For a specific action that would move them forward.
Most of us were never taught to do that. We were taught to work hard and wait. To build skills and hope someone notices. To be grateful for the mentors who gave us their time and wisdom. Mentors are valuable. But a sponsor is what moves you.
If you have never had one - if you cannot name one person right now who is speaking for you in rooms you are not in - It is a gap that can be closed. The question to sit with is this: does anyone senior know what you need right now? Not what you do. What you need. There is a difference. And if the answer is no, that is where to start.
Two things we built for the women ready to act on this
If you want to build the presence, the influence, and the strategic visibility that makes sponsorship compound - at your own pace:
We decided to release From Hidden Talent to Visible Leader as a self-paced programme, created by popular demand for women who cannot join a live cohort but want the full curriculum on their own terms. Four modules covering leadership identity, influence frameworks, executive presence, and a strategic 90-day plan. Your schedule. No waiting for the next intake.
And if you enrol within the next 48 hours, we will personally invite you to join the two live group coaching sessions running with our current cohort - on 3 June and 8 July, 7:30 to 9:30pm SGT. You will hear the questions real women are working through right now, in real situations. You will get to ask Uma and Jingjin directly. And you will experience what it feels like to be in a room of senior women who are done waiting to be discovered.
If you are in transition, building a business, or ready to be found rather than chasing:
Social is your new CV. Whatever you are moving toward - a new role, a different sector, a board seat, a client base - your LinkedIn profile is the first thing the right person checks before deciding whether to take the meeting. Most senior women are invisible on LinkedIn. Not because they have nothing to say, but because nobody taught them how to build authority on a platform that was not designed with them in mind.
We have just launched the LinkedIn Accelerator - a three or six-month journey to build your presence, your credibility, and your inbound pipeline. The goal is not to “post more”. It is to be found by the right people - so that the next sponsor, the next opportunity, or the next client comes to you.
If you want to hear more, reply to this email with one word: ACCELERATOR
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United in purpose,
Jingjin & Uma
P.S. Hungry for more? You'll find a whole spread of other toolkits and resources HERE