Vol. 44 - Why The Less Talented Person Keeps Getting Picked: 10 Career Behaviours That Make People Choose You
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We write for ambitious professionals, especially women, who are done playing small and ready to lead with visibility, confidence, and intention. Every two weeks, we share hard-won truths, scripts you can use today, and strategies we wish we'd known earlier.
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Your manager cannot promote work they cannot see.
That is the uncomfortable truth behind many stalled careers. You may be delivering strong results, solving difficult problems and carrying responsibilities well beyond your job description. But if the people making decisions only experience your work as a list of completed tasks, they have to fill in the gaps themselves.
And people do not always fill those gaps accurately.
The colleague who sends a concise weekly update may be remembered as highly effective. The colleague doing equally valuable work quietly in the background may be remembered as dependable, but not necessarily strategic, influential or ready for more.
Your work is happening. Your impact is not being translated.
Hard work matters, but it does not automatically become reputation, sponsorship or promotion. Someone has to understand what your work changed, why it mattered and what it suggests you are ready to do next.
If you leave that interpretation entirely to other people, you are leaving your career to memory.
The problem is that the rules that help people progress are rarely written down. They sit in the space between performance and perception, in how you frame your contribution, how you support your manager’s priorities, how you build relationships and how consistently you make your work visible.
We put some of the most practical behaviours that make your contribution easier to recognise, remember and reward here:
1. The Corporate Ladder Is Not A Ladder
Many women still think about career progression as a straight line. Do your job well, move up one level, then repeat. But senior careers rarely work that way.
They are closer to a climbing wall. You can move up, sideways or across. You can change functions, build influence through a different project, develop a relationship with a senior leader or become known for a capability that is more valuable than your current job title suggests.
This matters because the person who gets promoted is not always the person who has followed the most obvious route. It is often the person who has understood what the organisation is rewarding and positioned themselves accordingly.
Instead of asking:
“Why is she getting the opportunity when I am working harder?”
Ask:
“What is the organisation rewarding here?”
Maybe it is speed. Maybe it is commercial judgement. Maybe it is the ability to bring people together. Maybe it is confidence in an uncertain situation. Maybe it is simply that more senior people have seen the person in action.
That question moves you out of frustration and back into agency.
You may not agree with what the organisation rewards. But if you want to progress inside it, you need to understand it.
2. Stop Waiting For What Should Happen
One word often gives away your power at work: “should.”
Your manager should notice your contribution. Your company should promote you fairly. Your team should recognise who is doing the real work. Your boss should be looking out for your career.
Some of these things may be true. They may even be reasonable expectations.
But the moment you make your progress dependent on what someone else should do, you hand them control over something you cannot control.
A more useful question is:
“How will I make sure this happens, and what will I do if it doesn’t?”
That does not mean accepting poor management or taking responsibility for a broken system. It means refusing to remain passive inside it.
If your manager should be advocating for you but is not, you need to know what you can do to make your impact easier to advocate for.
If your company should have a transparent promotion process but does not, you need to find out how decisions are actually made.
If your work should speak for itself but does not, you need to give it language.
3. Your Manager Has Their Own Career To Manage
This may sound obvious, but it is easy to forget: your manager is managing more than you.
They have their own targets, priorities, pressures and blind spots. They are not observing every meeting you attend, every problem you prevent or every conversation you handle well.
Even good managers do not see everything.
A manager needs to know where resources are going, what progress is being made, which risks are emerging and who is capable of handling more responsibility. The easier you make that information to find, the easier it becomes for them to understand your value.
One of the simplest ways to do that is a short weekly update.
Send three sections:
What moved: the outcome or decision your work influenced.
What matters now: the risk, opportunity or issue requiring attention.
What you need: a decision, introduction, resource or piece of support.
For example:
What moved: We aligned the regional teams on the new rollout plan, which removes the main source of delay.
What matters now: The remaining risk is the approval timeline in two markets.
What I need: I recommend we escalate the approval request this week so the launch date remains realistic.
That update does more than report activity. It shows judgement.
It tells your manager what happened, why it matters and what should happen next.
Over time, it also creates a record of your contribution.
The important part is consistency. Do not send one impressive update and then disappear. If you commit to a weekly summary, send it every week. A broken expectation is remembered more negatively than an expectation that was never created.
4. Be The Person Who Brings A Solution
There is a difference between bringing your manager a problem and bringing your manager a problem with a way forward.
Managers already have plenty of problems. What they remember is the person who helps reduce the load.
This does not mean taking on every difficult task or becoming the person who cleans up everyone else’s mess. That is how women become indispensable in an operational role and overlooked for a strategic one.
The distinction is whether you are simply absorbing problems or demonstrating judgement about how they should be handled.
Instead of:
“There is a problem with the client timeline.”
Try:
“The client timeline is at risk because of the approval delay. I see two options: we can reduce the scope of the first phase or escalate the decision by Friday. I recommend the second because it protects the revenue target.”
You are still raising the problem. But you are not placing the entire burden of thinking on your manager. This is the kind of contribution that makes people think:
“I can trust her with something bigger.”
That is the reputation you need when promotion decisions are being made.
5. The Magic Loop
A strong relationship with your manager is not built by asking for support every time you need something.
It is built through an exchange of value.
First, understand what matters to your manager. What are they accountable for? What is creating pressure? Which priorities are not moving quickly enough? Where are they lacking information, capacity or influence?
Then find a meaningful way to help.
That might mean taking ownership of a difficult stakeholder relationship, preparing the analysis they need for a senior meeting, solving a recurring process problem or bringing clarity to a project that has become difficult to manage.
Once you have delivered something valuable, have the second conversation.
You might say:
“I’m pleased with what we achieved on this project. I’d like to continue growing in this direction. What would I need to take on next to demonstrate readiness for [specific role or responsibility]?”
Or:
“I’ve enjoyed contributing to this work and would like to build more experience in this area. Could we discuss what opportunities would allow me to do that?”
This is the loop:
- Understand what your manager needs.
- Help move an important priority forward.
- Show the outcome clearly.
- Ask for the next opportunity that supports your own growth.
Your manager has a reason to invest in you because they have experienced the value of working with you. You have a reason to invest in the relationship because it is helping you move towards the career you want.
The loop only works if you deliver on what you offer. Do not ask, “How can I help?” and then fail to follow through. That creates a negative memory very quickly.
6. Know Who Is An Sponsor
A sponsor is someone who creates movement for you when you are not in the room. They mention your name, recommend you for opportunities, give you context and sometimes take a reputational risk by supporting your progression.
You can learn a great deal by watching what happens around a person.
Do people want to work for them? Do strong people follow them when they move roles? Do they give credit to others? Do they protect their team when something goes wrong? Do they create opportunities, or do they keep talented people dependent on them?
A manager’s reputation travels through the people who choose to follow them.
You can also ask your peers more revealing questions than, “Do you like working with our manager?”
Try:
“What does our manager care about most?”
“What tends to build trust with them?”
“What is their biggest frustration?”
“What do you think they need more help with right now?”
People often reveal the real operating rules of a team through these conversations.
Pay attention to whether people describe the manager as consistent and transparent or unpredictable and political. Hard standards can be challenging, but they are easier to work with than standards that change depending on who is in favour.
7. Results Are The Language Of Promotion
Working hard is not the same as producing results.
A full calendar can still contain very little that changes the business.
When you review your work, look beyond the activity and ask:
- Did this increase revenue?
- Did it reduce cost or risk?
- Did it improve customer experience?
- Did it make the team faster or more effective?
- Did it protect an important relationship?
- Did it give senior leaders better information for a decision?
- Did it create capacity for something more valuable?
Not every contribution will translate directly into money. But you should be able to connect your work to something the organisation values.
This is especially important when you ask for more responsibility or compensation.
Do not lead with:
“I have been here for two years.”
“I have taken on so much.”
“I work harder than everyone else.”
“I deserve a promotion.”
Those statements may reflect your experience, but they make the conversation about your effort rather than the value you create.
A stronger conversation sounds like this:
“The work we delivered on X produced Y result. I would like to take on more responsibility in this direction. Could we discuss what I would need to deliver for progression to the next level to make sense?”.
That is the difference between asking to be rewarded and making a case for investment.
8. The Conversation To Have With Your Manager
Time the conversation carefully.
Do not raise it immediately after a problem or in the middle of a crisis if you can avoid it. Choose a moment when you have delivered something meaningful and your contribution is fresh in your manager’s mind.
Then use this structure:
“We’ve had strong results on [project or outcome], and I appreciate the feedback and support that helped make that possible. I’d like to grow my career in this direction and understand how I can deliver more at that level. What would you need to see from me for a promotion or significant increase in responsibility to make sense?”
This works because it does not place you and your manager on opposite sides of a demand. It starts with a result. It explains where you want to grow. And it asks what value you need to create next.
If your manager gives you a vague answer such as “You need to be more visible,” ask:
“What would that look like in practice?”
If they say, “You need more leadership experience,” ask:
“Which leadership situations would give me the right evidence?”
If they say, “There is no budget,” ask:
“Understood. What would make you confident recommending me when the budget becomes available?”
If they say, “Let’s revisit this later,” ask:
“What specifically should happen before we revisit it, and when shall we put the next conversation in the calendar?”
Do not leave with encouragement alone.
Leave with criteria, an action and a date.
9. What Not To Say
There are ways of asking for progression that make the conversation harder than it needs to be.
Avoid framing the request entirely around what you want:
“I want a promotion.”
“I need more money.”
“Why am I still in this role?”
“I deserve to move up.”
Your career matters. Your compensation matters. But the organisation is also asking a different question:
“What will this person make possible at the next level?”
Bring the conversation back to that question.
Instead of “I want more,” say:
“Here is the value I am currently creating, here is the responsibility I am ready to take on, and here is what I would like to understand about the path to the next level.”
10. Invisible Work Still Needs A Story
Many women are doing valuable work that does not show up neatly in a performance tracker.
They prevent problems. Retain people. Calm difficult stakeholders. Make decisions easier. Help teams work together. Notice risks before they become expensive.
The problem is that invisible work often stays invisible unless you name its effect.
At the end of each week, write down one example using this sentence:
“Because I was involved, the business was able to…”
Complete it with a specific result.
Because I was involved, the business was able to make the decision two weeks earlier.
Because I was involved, the team avoided a costly delay.
Because I was involved, the client renewed instead of escalating.
Because I was involved, a senior employee stayed through a difficult transition.
This exercise changes how you talk about your work. It also helps you identify whether your contribution is strategic, operational or both.
You may discover that your role has grown considerably even though your title has not.
That is information you can use.
Now, Your Next Seven Days
Do not turn this into another article you agree with and forget.
Use it.
This week:
- Choose one important result from the past three months and write down the business impact.
- Send your manager a short update using “What moved, What matters now, What I need.”
- Identify one priority your manager is accountable for and find a useful way to support it.
- Ask one trusted colleague what your manager values most and what tends to frustrate them.
- Put a development conversation in your manager’s calendar.
- Prepare one sentence that connects your next career step to the value you are ready to create.
- Start a weekly record of outcomes so you are not reconstructing your contribution at review time.
Your goal is to become easier to understand.
When people can see what you produce, how you think and what you are ready to take on next, you stop relying on hope.
You give them a reason to remember you.
And when the next opportunity appears, being remembered is often where the decision begins.
A special 4-week cohort of “From Hidden Talent To Visible Leader”
Over the past few months, we have received more and more messages from brilliant professional women across emerging markets who want to work with us.
They are ready for greater visibility, influence and leadership. But for many of them, investing $998 in an eight-week leadership development programme is a significant decision.
That matters to us.
Our mission is to impact 5 million professional women globally. If the women we most want to support cannot access the work because of the price, then we need to create another way in.
So, because of popular demand, we have decided to open a one-time four-week version of From Hidden Talent to Visible Leader.
This is not the full eight-week programme shortened and repackaged indefinitely. It is a special cohort created to make the core work more accessible to women globally, particularly those in emerging markets.
A four-week “From Hidden Talent to Visible Leader” cohort
14 September–11 October
Special one-time price: $499
This programme is for you if you know you have more to offer, but you are not yet being seen, heard or recognised at the level you deserve.
Perhaps you are excellent at your work, but your contribution remains invisible. Perhaps you want to step into bigger rooms, influence decisions, progress in your career or position yourself for a new opportunity, but you are unsure how to do that without feeling as though you are constantly promoting yourself.
Across four weeks, you will work through four practical modules:
- Own Your Leadership Identity: Define the leader you are becoming, identify the strengths you want to be known for and develop a leadership story that reflects your value.
- Build Influence Without Authority: Map the stakeholders and informal power networks around you, understand what matters to them and create stronger alignment.
- Speak Up And Be Seen: Strengthen your executive presence and learn how to communicate your thinking with more clarity, confidence and impact.
- Own Your Next Move: Create a focused 90-day plan for your leadership and career, including the visibility and relationships needed to support your next step.
You will receive access to all four online modules from the beginning. Each module includes video lessons, a workbook and reflection exercises designed for approximately one to two hours of focused work each week, depending on how deeply you choose to engage.
You will also join a dedicated WhatsApp community where you can ask questions, share reflections and apply the work to your own situation throughout the four weeks.
The cohort includes one live group coaching session with Uma and Jingjin live on 24 September . The session will be recorded if you cannot attend live.
This is a one-time offer. We are opening this version in response to the women who have been asking for a more accessible way to work with us, and because it supports our wider mission to help 5 million professional women access the tools, strategy and community needed to advance their careers.
Places are limited and enrolment closes on 31 August.
You already have the substance. This is about making sure the right people can see it, understand it and connect it to the level of leadership you are ready for.
If you have questions before enrolling, you can
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Jingjin & Uma